australians dont have sex
I spat out my coffee
sorry about your
how do people on tumblr become so interesting that people actually willingly ask them about their life like i’ve been here for 3 years and i’m pretty sure half of you don’t even know my name
every single person who reblogs this
will get “doot doot” in their ask box
I WANT TO KNOW YOUR SECRETSERIOUSLY THOUGH WHAT ARE YOU
I GOT THIS AND I WAS LIKE WHAT THE FUCK
there are over 128,000 notes and i still got one
this isn’t going to work, guaranteed
THIS IS SUCH AN ACCURATE REPRESENTATION OF CATS IF CATS COULD TALK THIS IS WHAT THEY WOULD SAY
I fucking hate game night with the engineering graduates
Thermochromic table by Jay Watson
imagine banging someone on that table
imagine murdering someone on that table
what the fuck is wrong with you people
my mom heard the beginning of same love by macklemore and she looked at me and said “when you were 4 you sat in your room and cried for hours and when i asked you what was wrong you said “mom i think i’m black”
you know what upsets me
bunnies have tons of sex
like supposedly always humping right
but does that affect how we look at bunnies?
do we still think bunnies are cute af?
do we want bunnies any less because of their sex habits?
treat people like bunnies ok
this has been a psa
When will this madness stop
When Leo wins an Oscar.
Reblogging for old times’ sake because I have a feeling these jokes end soon
i think freckles, stretch marks, tattoos, bruises, birthmarks and scars are probably the coolest thing, you started with almost a blank canvas and look at u now, all this evidence that you’ve lived and the sun has shone on you and you’ve grown and maybe tripped up a few times and liked an image so much u made it a permanent part of u, beautiful.
That’s one of the most uplifting things I’ve readThis needs to get passed around more
So my godgrandpa fell asleep and this was the result..
when i was 12 i made a deal with my dad that if i didn’t date until i was 16 he’d owe me $100 AND I FUCKING REMEMBERED THE OTHER DAY AND MY DAD SAID IT WAS "RIDICULOUS ENOUGH TO BE TRUE" HE’S ACTUALLY GONNA GIVE ME $100
so my dad come home today and was like “katie i did it i got your money”
he gave me 100 one dollar bills
my dad gave me 100 one dollar bills
i can pretend to be a super star
i am a queen
i made it rain on my mom